Anxiety strikes again

Disclaimer : Most of you who have read my earlier blogs Noise in my head and Affair with insomnia,  would find this post on similar lines. Yeah, I know, it is dark and negative, but this is a state of mind!!

The noise in my head refuses to cease

Lying awake in the middle of the night,

I wonder what is wrong with me?

What is it that the Doc did not spot?

She said “You are fine”,

But I keep worrying all the time……

Could someone explain,

Because I just do not know..

Why is it always at night that my thoughts run a riot?

Anxiety creeps into my head and strangles my throat,

I try to fight, I fight to control it,

But it will just not go…

It was not supposed to be like this,

My mom did not warn me about this,

Hands under my head, I look at the darkened ceiling,

Wondering what is the truth and what is the lie,

What? Who? Why? So many questions,

High and dry, I gasp for breath,

my own shadow is strangling me,

I wish this anxiety wave will die…

I’m holding on to my past I can do nothing about,

I count my sins, drown in guilt and hide in fear,

I shut my eyes only to stare at the abyss,

My mind is confused wondering where to go,

just want to get out of this horror show..

I see the clock ticking away,

I think my mind is playing games inside,

I’m like this inside me, but look normal on the outside.